21 Apr 2020

Turning Fear Around

We’ve all been taught that fear is bad.  But how would we live differently if we accepted that fear is part of our lives, and used it to ask questions and acknowledge where we may need to grow instead of fighting it all the time or trying to push it out of our lives? 

What if we used fear for information gathering?

Fear, like anything, has light and shadow qualities. It can tell us there’s danger ahead or that we may want to step back from the fire. It also can cause us to feel that we’re not good or talented enough to start something new or speak our mind.  Fear is future focused, and the future is always uncertain.

Imagine fear as a little toddler who’s just discovering independence.  She may come upon things from time to time that she is unsure of and need reassurance from her parents. When she receives that reassurance, she may move cautiously forward with the activity or may move onto something else if what she wanted to do was dangerous.

So, what if we used fear to ask ourselves important questions and answered them, in order to give ourselves reassurance? If you’re going to ask the question “what if”, answer it.   Use fear as a planning tool. Instead of letting your mind get all swirly with “what ifs”, write down every possible answer for each scenario you can come up with.

And what about past grief, crises and other challenges you’ve faced?  What reassurances can you derive from them? What lessons did you learn and how did you grow from them? I am certain that during times of fear and doubt that you are stronger than you know and seeing the evidence will help you feel it too.

Look fear in the face, question it and thank it for the information. When we accept that fear is part of the process in facing any challenge, we can learn to move through it. Trying to deny its existence and pretending it is not there only leads to increased anxiety, isolation and dependence on quick fixes. 

Give yourself the grace and freedom to feel it all so you can find clarity and confidence for how you want to move forward.

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